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1. Love/Telco: Frequently Called Numbers

Introduction

I hypothesize that relationships have a very close resemblance to your contractual connections with your telecommunications service provider or telcos for short. Like telco services, relationships come in many different forms. Some people are in a serious monogamous relationship, some are just having a fling, some in an “open relationship”  or as made famous in a particular social networking website, “it’s complicated” for others. But the point that I am trying to make here is that, if one starts to draw a mental line in an attempt to connect telco contracts to relationship statuses, it is almost shocking to see the similarities. Just like telco contracts, romantic and platonic relationships are bound by rules of engagement, which usually remains unwritten unless the likes of a pre-nuptial agreement is drawn up. In any case, one might infer it to the Terms & Conditions (T&Cs) of a service contract. At the same time, each relationship status/service type confers some privileges and by extension, limitations. Let’s take that journey to explore how each telco service can be related to a type of relationship that we have with the people around us.

One of the many services that a telco operator would offer are special rates to a few selected numbers or more commonly known as Frequently Called Numbers or FCN for short. In the relationship equivalent, FCNs are made up of your trusted circle of friends. These people are your inner circle, the ones whom you might leave your valuables with, and maybe even entrust your life. If we discount your spouse/partner and family members, the people in this group are your best ever friends.Within this group, you might find the one who is out with you on weekends, weeknights and other events of a social nature. You will also count among them that friend who will be your listening ear after or during a lousy day. And most definitely, that other friend who will never fails to be your conscience and give you his/her honest opinion even if there is a small chance that you might be offended. To put it shortly, an FCN is everything you would expect of your BFF.

While most BFFs or as the male equivalent would call “buddies”, are of the same sex as the person in question, an FCN can also be someone of the opposite sex as long as some boundaries are adhered to for if not, it might develop into a different kind of relationship/service. (more on that, another time). To be clear, an FCN usually has little romantic attraction for the other. He/she is simply, a really good and like-able friend. The love, care and “like” that you show for the person is intense but definitely not sexual in nature.

This friendship is special where whatever that is said between you and your FCN is sacred and is bound by omertà. (the code of silence practiced by the Mafias) You share alot of things with your FCN, sometimes even those that are out of bounds to your spouse/partner. In a way, your FCN is almost your shadow or soulmate. And because of the tight friendship, some people might mistake it for a more serious kind of relationship. At good and bad times, this is the person you turn to, for a chat, to complain, to ask for opinions, to share things.

This is perhaps simple to understand if your FCN is of the same sex as you but things get a bit complicated when you have an FCN that is of the opposite sex. (Having said that, if you are in a homosexual relationship, then the opposite scenario would apply) In such a scenario, it is almost critical that the T&Cs of the “service”  is clearly understood by the “customer” and the “service provider”, and of course adhered to.

The bottom line is: You don’t give your FCN more than what you give your partner.

You don’t get too touchy-feely with your FCN. You don’t kiss your FCN on the lips. You don’t hug your FCN unless it’s a joyous occasion or a really sad moment where a hug is the most appropriate form of consolation. You don’t disrupt a moment with your partner/spouse for your FCN. You don’t have sex with your FCN. (unless you are in the kind of relationship where such acts are openly shared and allowed) And most important of all, one must remember not to fall in love with your FCN.

Many people have disputed the possibility that two members of the opposite sex can have a close, platonic relationship without any sexual attraction, but we think that’s just paranoid thinking. Although the possibility of one having secret desires for the other cannot be conclusively ruled out at any point, we think that as long as the T&Cs that were mentioned above are adhered to, such unexpressed thoughts and intentions are perhaps not as unhealthy as it has been made out to be. But having said that, it is perhaps apt to dish out some advice about the matter.

As the quote from the movie 500 days of summer goes, “just because someone loves the same crap as you do doesn’t mean that she’s your soulmate”. Taking it to another level or “upgrading the service” brings a whole avalanche of considerations and challenges. And while its the stuff of the best love stories ever told, it is also unfortunately, the stuff love tragedies are made of too.

However, while we may be surrounded by a few FCNs, we really only need one spouse or in our version of telco terms, a fixed line service. Or perhaps, some of us aren’t ready for a fixed service and prefer to have a purely mobile service? More on that, in the next edition.

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1. All is Love

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Who: Mathilda D’Silva
Day: OMS Creative, Creative Director
Night: Singer . Musician


Mathilda is one of those rare talents who has the voice of whiskey soaked dark chocolate in the vein of soul greats from the 70’s. Her joy for singing and performance stem from her great love for music and sharing it with those who are willing to stop and listen. She performs at the Esplanade Recital Studio on 29 January 2010.

What is the relationship like between your daily professional pursuits, and your nightly artistic ones?
My day starts at 5am and I must admit I’m a stickler for punishment. This manic schedule started when I began my company OMS CREATIVE in 2008. Everyday is a mixed bag of shenannigans, I helm a radio show, I do voiceovers, I direct and produce corporate stuff and then head home, detox for 15 minutes, get my dress on and hair done and head out to sing.

There is an artistic synergy between all my activities, some of them spill from one into the other. Somedays when I’m doing an interview about semi-conductors I might see something in the parking lot that inspires me to paint. Sometimes being on stage and singing, I see people in the audience and that inspires a idea for an article. Even eating pancakes can inspire me to write a song. So everything sort of…informs each other.

I have warmed up slowly to the idea that as an artist, you must quite simply, make art everywhere you go. Its so strange that in our creative industry, we tend to bemanfucaturing tired, old ideas and we can be some of the most un-inspired people around…always moping about commercialism and its pitfalls. I mean I go to work to sing, to talk to 4 million singaporeans everyday, to play music, to inform, to create shows that just a few months ago, were scribbles on a piece of toilet paper.

How cool is that? I wear whatever I want, blast my music and spend my days as a wordsmith. How many people can say that they pursued their passions to the n-th degree? Most just sell out for a $15,000 handbag or a condo. That thought is what keeps me motivated to “keep on keeping on” even though sometimes I might not even be able to afford my handphone.

What is one love / craft you would like to pursue and be good at this year?
Any friend of Mathilda will tell you that she never wants to do “just one thing.” She sets unattainable goals and has all manner of ridiculous ideas that would tire a prize-winning Olympic skater.

You could say this year is about fulfilling the dreams of the last. I remember being that wistful creature, sitting in office till 10pm, wondering if I will ever travel, learn a new language or dance. Following my one day back-packing musical sabbatichal to Liverpool last year, I realised that somedays you just have to “get up and go.” And that’s what I did. That’s how I got to be on stage at The Cavern Club, singing at the very spot where The Beatles got their first break.

Its amazing where cockamaime ideas, luck and a splash of talent can take you.

I decided to take my artistic life into my hands and silence my inner critic.

This year is about the music actually. I want to start improving my song-writing, my musicianship on the piano and the drums. I have also decided to take up dancing and hopefully I will learn how to dance with a partner and not grind his feet into the parquet with my heels.

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Who: Little
Day: fFurious, Design Director
Night: Mixed Media Artist

Little is the founder of fFurious, a multi-disciplinary studio that has been at the forefront of Singapore’s design circles. Whether commercial work or exhibitions, their creative executions have always pushed the audience to think and react to the mediums at hand.

What is the relationship between pursuing commercial success professionally and creative satisfaction personally?

Without commercial success, I’d be living the life of a starving artist. But without creative satisfaction, I’d be burnt out and would have dropped out of this business long ago. I find that it’s intricately linked and a continued struggle to maintain a fine balance between them.

What is one love / craft you would like to pursue and be good at this year?
That’s tough, I’ve always been a happy jack of all trades; never contented to pursue one craft for long. If I had to choose, perhaps it might be illustration as I enjoy it tremendously and find myself not doing enough of that recently.


How do you stay motivated in your pursuits?
The satisfaction of doing something and the knowledge that there’ll be people out there who’ll be happy to simply see them.

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Who: Audrey
Day: koumi koumi, Owner
Night: koumi koumi, Owner


What started as a little blogshop project with a love for vintage, koumi koumi has flourished into an online fashion store that serves to a niche of women who appreciate an understated beauty yet thrill us with flashes of summer hued fun.

What is it about koumi koumi that allows you to labour with delight?
It thrills me everyday that Koumi is something borne out of self, idea and passion. I work really hard to keep the business running, but it has also given me great pleasure to work with some amazing people like Chris Ong, Sy Chia and others.

This pursuit would be nothing without friends, and of course, which girl doesn’t love new clothes? This is my labour of love! I started Koumi when I was still a Mass Comm student for the extra pocket money, but now it’s grown to involve wonderful relationships with customers and people who have helped me along the way, and I love seeing my clothes on random people.

Also, I’m mad about vintage and its culture. Koumi has a range of vintage apparel, which I handpick during my travels abroad.

What is one love / craft you would like to pursue and be good at this year?
A new language! I meet people of different nationalities when I go on merchandizing trips, it would be great if I could communicate better with them. Some of them are people I really want to get to know.


How do you stay motivated in your pursuits?
I think about the people I love, and the people who love me. About where I started out from. That way you always stay grounded, while you’re free to let go and dream. Look forward, don’t look back. Remember the people who need you and the ones who actually do care about you.

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Who: Noel
Day: BBH, Digital Creative Director
Night: Frontman for Suchness


A stalwart of Singapore’s indie music scene back in the 90’s, Noel was already fronting the band, Suchness, and paving the way for future bands with their irresistible pop hooks and melodies. Now, after a decade away from the scene, and the insatiable hunger to keep writing songs, Noel’s new band, Shelves, looks set to blaze another trail of power-pop goodness.

You’re the digital head in one of Singapore’s best advertising agencies, and recently resurrected a new super-group, Shelves, after a 10 year hiatus. What is the relationship between your professional creative pursuits and personal creative pursuits?
Digital head sounds like interactive porn. Probably more fun than what I’m doing now. Don’t really see too much of a separation between personal and professional pursuits. I actually like what I do at work. Same with the band. So I guess from where I’m standing I’m just a lucky guy doing things he likes to do.

What is one love / craft you would like to pursue and be good at this year?
Funnily enough I would actually like to be able to sing and play the guitar better. I think you can only play the look-I’m-indie card for so long. So yeah, that would be nice.

How do you stay motivated in your pursuits?
When you like what you do, it’s easy to stay motivated.

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Who: Randy
Day: b e t t e r m e n, Director / Sinema SG, Founder
Night: Filmmaker


Randy has achieved what many aspiring filmmakers can only dream of. Already an accomplished film producer with the exceptional local feature film, The Days (2009), he also founded Sinema SG to bring the local film community together. Never one to stay still, he recently started a new multi-disciplinary studio, b e t t e r m e n, and looks set for even greater heights this year.

Being both a film director professionally as well as an artist, what is the relationship like between your daily professional pursuits, and your nightly artistic ones?
I have always chosen to work on projects that I will enjoy creating, hence, real work for me is really a great time to play. Perhaps I have been lucky the past 10 years but I would like to think that somehow the opportunities have been somewhat created. For nightly artistic ones… what are you referring to? Haha… I play lots of poker at night and almost every weekend. (Author’s note: I was referring to his personal film projects, but like he said, the job and the personal projects are so greatly entwined!)

What are your motivations for pursuing a dream of starting b e t t e r m e n?
I started a design based agency maybe 9 years back. Since then I’ve gotten my hands dirty with film and started Sinema.SG and eventually Sinema Old School – all in the good faith of trying to promote Singapore films. So I had the opportunity to dabble in graphic design, photography, filmmaking, event management, PR… the whole “she-bang” lah. Starting b e t t e r m e n this year is a new step toward creative freedom. If someone were to ask me what we do – I would like to call it a multi-disciplinary agency – which is a nicer way of saying – “will do ‘almost’ anything.”

What is one love / craft you would like to pursue and be good at this year?
Wow – I like this question. I want to go old-skool and do silk-screen printing. I’m already starting a collaboration with another designer friend of mine.

Many thanks to all the interviewees for taking the time to answer our questions! And be on the look out for more works from these artists in 2010!

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As a special anecdote, the editors of Happyesque also share their own creative pursuits for this year.

Brian // I want to be better at web publishing with Happyesque, and be more adept at songwriting and producing music in my bedroom because I play in too many bands.

Adib // All good works come from the soul and so, this is the year where I take a good hard look at my values and consciously grow my soul. And while I’m at it, always try to live life, take things easy and stay Happyesque.

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Dear Resolution09

It’s been a long while since we corresponded. How have you been?

I know you might not be so enthusiastic about seeing this email from me but please, don’t roll your eyes at this point now. I admit, I haven’t been all that well and true to you since the last time. But I just want you to know that I REALLY tried my best. All those promises that I made the last time, I really meant it. And I did put in my best effort at making it all true.

That daily exercise regime that I promised you? I did get to it. I woke up earlier everyday to do a set of crunches and push-ups. I actually did set out to do a 3km run every day for 7 days straight. And then, you know, life happens. I got busy the night before and started waking up late for work. And when I eventually had the drive and desire to go for a run, it will always start to rain oh so heavily! Can you believe it?! I know! An absolutely ridiculous coincidence!

I should make it up to you one day. Maybe cook you a meal or something. How about that? Oh, but just so you know, I didn’t really get down to learning the 5-minute-recipe cookbook that we got the last time we went out. Everytime I reached the shopping mall, the supermarket had closed. And it didn’t help that there was always someone out there who would be inviting me over for lunch, dinner and even breakfast.

I can understand that you are upset with me about this whole thing and that’s the reason you left me. But I just want you to know that I’ve taken a long hard look at myself and am changing my ways. No, it’s not the same like the last time.

So, you heard about 2010 eh? Yeah, things with Resolutions 2010 has been good so far. I know it’s still early days but we’ve been together for about 3 weeks now and all seems well. Although the freak weather has been putting a slight dent into our daily exercise plans, we’ve been making up for it by going for long cycling rides over the weekend.

While we are now apart, I hope we can still be friends. I hope you will send me your address so that I can look you up and you know, just catch up. I tried to Google “the place where old resolutions go to die” but there wasn’t any useful hits. I hope to hear from you soon.

P.S, As part of 2010, I resoluted (if there is such a word) to reply all emails as promptly as I could but you know, delayedmail.com isn’t really the most efficient email provider out there so I might take about 2 weeks to reply your email but I promise, I will reply you ASAP!

Regards,
The procrastinator

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We believe that by organising it in this manner, our editorial focus is conveyed more clearly and you,our dearest readers will be able to better comprehend how we (loosely) organise our thought processes. Through this, we hope it will invite you to navigate deeper into the website and hopefully discover more gems and derive greater reading pleasure.

During this editorial refinement, we have taken the initiative to reorganise the content from the past four months into a more coherent form. You might find that the chronological order from these old articles have been shuffled around a bit but we actually think that it won’t bother you much at all.

This monthly thematic direction is here to stay and  #005, January will revolve around “Resolutions”. You might also be interested to know that we will be focusing on “Love” in February and March will be the month where we focus on “Playgrounds”.

We are open to contributions of all forms and if you are interested to find out more, do visit our “Contribute” page. If you have comments, suggestions, thoughts that you would like to share with us, do leave a comment at the end of this post, tweet us at @happyesque or send us an email via hello[at]happyesque.com. More good things soon!

-Adib-

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Update: Jan 10,2010, 12.25pm- Our plugins and publishing engine is working fine now!

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1. We’re getting there

But making resolutions is an empty exercise if all they do is address the symptoms of the dissatisfaction we face, and lock us in the vicious cycle of making and breaking said resolutions. We at Happyesque believe that the real question we need to ask ourselves is “What would make me happy?” It’s something that we think about all the time, and yet, we don’t always understand the motivations behind it.

Well, this month, we asked a few Netizens to distill what they think would make them happy in 2010 using a single tweet (140 characters), as an exercise to identify the things that really matter. A rather surprising trend that stood out, was that while we all go about achieving happiness in different ways, we all ultimately want similar things.

Relationships, Careers, Health, Purpose, Financial Stability, Love, Growth, etc. They come in different shapes and sizes to different people, but knowing what they are, allows you to chart your path to happiness more clearly, without needing to mindless chase the things of this world.

So these are some of the collective voices from people around Singapore, serving as a reminder to start the year with a wish to be happier!

@nikipaniki: Money! Kidding…well, half kidding. Money will solve half of my problems. But what would make me happy is… keeping my job and have enough time/money to travel to at least 2 or 3 destinations this year. And practice my Spanish. [http://www.nikipaniki.com]

@pixiedub: a more balanced life! in work, personal time and time with friends. a raise would help too. [http://twitter.com/pixiedub]

@stephietan: Staying healthy will make me very happy in 2010, with good health I’ll be able to achieve career & life goals. [http://www.stephiesays.com]

@brainopera: Frankly speaking, I’d be happy to land a job I’d love. It’s proven to be harder than I imagined. [http://theory.isthereason.com]

@cherylhan: it would make me happy if more people start cycling to work. and more designated cycling lanes in sg! [http://cherylhan.wordpress.com]

@mintea: In 2010 I would be happy when the boyfriend would be back in SG for good. No more LDR for me. [http://lookykrill.blogspot.com]

@avalanchelynn: hmmm..being able to make my loved ones happy would make me happy,really:)no quarrels,smiles,contentment..well,if i could shed kilos,gd too! [http://twitter.com/avalanchelynn]

@wanidakok: haha. too many things! top 3 would be seeing u2 live, traipsing around the world and finding love…amongst other things. :p [http://wanida.livejournal.com]

@inrsoul: greater job satisfaction! even bosses need it, even more so. i like to be involved in more creative projects… seeing them through to the finished product. whatever it may be, websites, publication, photography. that wld make me happy. [http://www.kevin365.com]

@artiwil: What will make me happy? Career success and good health for both Pete and me. Making the right decisions and following my dreams. Add to that having the people around me enjoy happiness in its truest sense. [http://twitter.com/artiwil]

@kittywurecords: More recognition for local music in the mainstream media (TV/Radio/Press) as the scene grows [http://www.kittywurecords.com]

@ThomasCrampton: It would make me happy in 2010 if people started using the power of Social Media to improve the world. [http://www.thomascrampton.com]

@xwen: What makes me happy is having less “wants” and more happiness for 2010. OK, maybe a pair of Yeah Yeah Yeahs tickets. [http://www.fash-eccentric.com/]

@krisandro: Hmmmmmm…. I have too many things that will make me happy. lol. [http://www.krisandro.com]

@nadnut: The 4 happiness: More money, Better relationships with my loved ones, Great experiences and recognition. [http://www.nadnut.com]

@lucian: Happiness for 2010. Courage to be the person God wants me to be. [http://www.tribolum.com]

@MrToffee: If my no-protein diet actually worked and I lose a significant amount of weight. [http://www.gameaxis.com]

@iammyy: Spending more time with the loved ones (how cliche), getting a great internship tt i can learn something frm ! [http://www.ingridmak.net]

@ambarvalia: In short, what would make me happy is to be the best lawyer that I can be. [http://ambarvalia.livejournal.com/]

@unfluff: Google “Life Without Pants”. It’s about the concept of lifestyle design. Everything abt that blog makes me happy [http://www.unfluff.com]

@belindaang: Good health for my parents, and completing the book I’m producing – The Way I Remember Home. [http://www.belindaang.com]

@clicktokill: To continuously learn, grow, explore & accept that as long as i am open-minded, so will my future. [http://www.clicktokill.net]

@twistedian: To achieve the wisdom to know which are the things I cannot change and the things that I can. And Singapore reaches the Asian Cup. [http://ian.onthereddot.com]

@rosiered: Copious amounts of chai and a life lived in faith. [http://www.square.sg]

@noelyeo: I wish to lose my double chin. [http://shelvestheband.wordpress.com]

@LizLion: For a start, the constant articulation of personal unhappiness is a great way to stay happy for 2010! gonna start complaining post haste. [http://leleohead.wordpress.com]

@geekonomics: I’d be happy in 2010 if I can get married! (Not forgeting the shiny new gadgets) [http://www.khoocapital.com]

@greenlaundry: run 2x a week, try fennel & risotto, visit a new city, family time, bike license!, have a certain man in my life ‘engage’ me, keep cool [http://www.greenlaundry.net]

@uniquefrequency: if people could be a little kinder to each other – that would make me happy in 2010 [http://www.uniquefrequency.com]

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1. Open Letter: Dear Resolution 09

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